15 Clear Signs That Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You
Everyone would Look forward to a wonderful love, but it's perhaps inevitable that some of the romance will go out of a relationship as time passes. How’s you love life at the moment? If you're starting to think you might be one of the unlucky few, these signs will either allay your fears or confirm the worst. And one very boring but very important thing: a beautiful relationship is built on trust, honesty, and freedom. So when you're not sure, talk to her, and give her the benefit of the doubt.
1. It’s no longer “we”
We adore independent women. Their independence is their right, it’s part of what we fell in love with, and it’s important to anyone’s sanity. If you’re a couple who have always used “we”, though, and she’s now starting to say “you” and “I”, it’s a subtle yet clear message that you’re no longer the rock-solid union you used to be. She no longer thinks in terms of the two of you together, which might mean that she’s thinking in terms of someone else entirely.
2. She picks and picks at everything you do
Want to know how to make breaking up with someone a little bit easier? Just tell yourself that you’re in the right. People who are cheating on their partners, or are about to break up with them, will often find the slightest faults in every little thing that the other person says or does. It’s partly guilt, and partly a natural defense mechanism to make themselves feel better for their actions.
3. She’s avoiding your questions
“What’s that?” she shouts over the timely clatter of washing up. “Just gotta go to the store,” she says, cutting you off mid-sentence. “Not now, The Bachelor’s on” – just as you are about to lay bare your heart. Sounds familiar? Time to start digging.
4. She’s staying late at work. A lot.
Business trips, office parties, tight project deadlines – if these start to pop-up more and more often, there’s definitely something up. Especially if she’s just a pool lifeguard. But seriously, it’s one of the classic cheating symptoms, and is either 100% true or 100% false. Luckily, it’s fairly easy to check.
5. She’s not sharing with you
Cheating isn’t just restricted to the physical act. Sometimes, forming an intense emotional bond with someone else can be just as dangerous, and ultimately just as heartbreaking. And how do these kinds of bonds form? By opening up to someone else. If she’s not sharing her highs, lows, and in-betweens with you, trust us – she’s sharing them with someone else. Hopefully for you they’re just a friend.
6. Her friends list is full of strange new people
Any social butterfly or worker in a big company will constantly be making new friends. And there’s nothing wrong with having some fresh faces and people to hang out with. But generally, if there’s new people who seem to take up a lot of her time (and news feed), and there’s no explanation or invitation to meet them, you’ve got a reason to get suspicious.
7. Her phone’s getting more love than you are
This is – how do we put it – more of a global problem than one just restricted to cheaters. Everyone these days is ignoring everyone else in order to pretend to talk to everyone else. It’s a strange situation when four people together in a bar are spending their time silently and furiously messaging people who aren’t in the bar, but you’re not alone, buddy. If she’s doing it while you’re trying to have a romantic picnic, it might be time to literally and metaphorically pack things up – whether or not she’s cheating.
8. You’re seeing less and less of her
Do you remember the time that you didn’t need an appointment to see her? When the two of you could hang out, with no prior planning or need to be anywhere? If it’s still like that, then congratulations – she’s a keeper. But if it’s proving frustratingly hard to find a spare spontaneous second with your lady, then she’s either got a lot on her plate right now, or she’s found another way to spend her quality time.
9. She’s starting to really bring up relationship problems
Communication is the key to every successful relationship, but sometimes it can be a double-edged sword. If she tells you that she’s unhappy with the relationship, for example, it’s usually a sign that something needs to change. But it also could be a thick hint that she’s justifying something (or someone!) that she’s done, or soon to do. There’s only one way to find out, unfortunately – keep talking.
10. She’s started to hide her phone
Not just her phone, either, but her computer and diary too. Often it’s the simplest signs that are the most obvious. Has she changed her passwords recently? Is she quickly closing browser tabs when you enter the room, like a teenager looking up dirty pics? To be fair, she could be in the process of doing some grand and secretive romantic gesture, like buying you that Jaguar you always wanted. On the other hand, she could be having an affair.
11. She no longer wants to see your family and friends
When a relationship melts down, your family and mutual friends are often caught in the crossfire. Often they have to take sides, or try and console both parties, or are simply witnesses to some uncomfortable secrets. No-one wants to involve the people you love into things like that, so if she’s pulling away from them, it could be a hint that she’s ready to split.
12. She doesn’t care anymore
Men all over the world will complain about their partners and their so-called nagging. At every turn, they feel like she’s making the biggest fusses over the tiniest detail, like being there when your child is born. But look at it the other way. What if she didn’t care at all? When every one of your mistakes doesn’t even raise an eyebrow, maybe it’s trouble. Maybe she’s moved on to something more worthwhile.
13. You’re the clingy one
This is the ultimate vicious circle of relationships: the more insecure and clingy you get, the more they’ll pull away, and the more you’ll try to hold on. It’s the delicate balance we all face, especially if we’re confronted with the thought that they might be cheating. If you’re insecure, they might back away and start actually cheating. If you’re not, they might think they can walk all over you. But your brain has a fine-tuned sensor – if you’re starting to feel clingy when you’re usually not, chances are there’s something wrong.
14. She keeps going missing
If it’s been a month since you heard from her last, it’s fair to say that it’s probably over. Even if it’s just a few days at a time with no word and no explanation, it’s still looking a little suss. Not that you have to know where she is at all times. But if she’s the type that’s glued to her phone, and you’re not getting any of the updates? Put up those “Missing” posters.
15. Her plans don’t include you
When you’ve stopped getting invitations from her to far-off dates like weddings and birthdays, there’s three possible reasons. Either your jokes have been terrible lately, or no-one in the world is having a birthday, or she’s planning to dump you. Or a fourth, even more terrible, option: it’s slipped her mind because she’s busy daydreaming about some other stud.